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This song was written circa 2005 by Tim Smolens and Chip Yamada – the filmmaker I have worked closely with in the past with Estradasphere, and the man who directed and edited a video for every song on She’s a Girl.

This song was written in the old Estradasphere studio haunts abutting the horse prison in the purple shadow. At that time my first marriage had just concluded, from which I was strangely indifferent about about but still had the primordial scab ripped off again. Chip had also been going through the end of a hopeful romantic situation which had his countenance falling (again). We seemed to be in the same place. The stars were aligned.

I initially came up with the chord progression. I was going for a 70’s Whiter Shade of Pale type thing. The finished recording even has an organ tone that is eerily similar to the aforementioned song. We each tried some vocal improvisations on our chosen subject, romantic desolation. There was some ok stuff. Then Chip came to the mic again and somehow caught lightening in a bottle and spit out a single take, George Smith-style, amazing lyrical and melodic improvisation that, compositionally, was ready to go. We ended up using pretty much that entire take and had me (Tim) re-sing it. Chip and I had worked together in many capacities before, and Chip is great songwriter in his own right, but he has never been known for his off the cuff improv. Amazing job. This song is very different, more 70’s, than most of the songs on the record. It seems to embody the hopelessness of the bitter end better than any song on SAG. Can you see ghosts slow-dancing? I sure can.

lyrics

I told myself this is not something to hold on to
Don’t get ahead in your head

I couldn’t even control my own self again
I’m falling in a lonely hole

Where only bones are gathered
And mole hairs all been scattered

‘Cause they’ve been eatin’ on the suckers that fall to their death
Just one more time

Tell me you’ve got something to do
You ain’t got enough in your heart for one more
trip to the moon, my girl
Just tell me that you’ll give me that goodbye kiss

Right in the way of another dream
I bet she can’t sleep without a boy to kill right next to her little pillow

So go home
I’ll forget it all

Don’t think I’m gonna be your fool
Deceptions of another promised love
Just walk away run from everything again
You never had nothin’

So go home
I’ll forget it all
Don’t think I’m gonna be your fool
Deceptions of another promised love
Just walk away run from everything again
You never had nothin’

credits

from She's A Girl (deluxe edition), released January 1, 2018

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Tim Smolens Denver, Colorado

Tim Smolens is a composer, producer, bassist and pivotal contributor of Estradasphere, Don Salsa, ISS and currently heads up international sci-fi prog rock band High Castle Teleorkestra. He is known for elaborate, multi-layered productions and a keen insight into chord progression "theory." ... more

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